Ok so I need to write a blog because there have been so many questions and I think people are just curious and interested in all of this. So.... I will start at the beginning. And sorry if it's too much info.
Anyway, after I stopped nursing Melanie I just never got my period. We wanted to start trying again because we wanted our kids to be close in age, and because we adore Melanie so much we wanted more! So after months of waiting for my period I just asked my doctor what I could take to get my period going. She gave me some pills to help me ovulate. She said "I'm supposed to tell you there's a chance for twins with this stuff, but not really." Because I was on such a low dose it just didn't seem likely at all. Plus I took that stuff when we were trying to get pregnant with Mel and I didn't get pregnant on it. So I actually wasn't even planning on getting pregnant while on it. I just wanted to get my cycle normal again. And I DEFINITELY wasn't even considering twins. By the way twins actually do run in my family. So when people I don't know that well keep asking me whether twins run in my family I am just going to say yes. Because I don't really feel like getting into that conversation with everyone.
When I went to the doctor at 8 weeks (I was by myself) my doctor was doing the ultrasound and just stopped. I immediately thought something was wrong. I could already feel the tears forming. I could tell she was trying to figure out how to say something. Then she said, "Um.... so how do you feel about two babies? Remember that super small chance? Yeah well......") Honestly, my mind just went blank. I didn't even know what to think. This whole time I have been worried about whether my baby was ok, not my BABIES! Oh and they are fraternal by the way. They are two seperate babes just like any siblings but born on the same day.
So I didn't tell Drew until he got home (which was sooooo hard). I wanted to see his reaction. I knew the first thing he was going to do was look at the ultrasound, and I figured that was the best way to tell him. In the picture it is very clear there are two. So right when he looked at it he said, "What am I looking at? Kristen, tell me what I am looking at." He saw before it was even in his hands there were two little babes there. It was great. He was in shock for a while. Well, we still are actually.
This pregnancy has been a little different than with Melanie. I remember googling "Why am I so hungry at seven weeks pregnant?" I was literally starving every second. Then the nausea came at 8 weeks. And oh my goodness it was bad. All day and all night nausea. I just wish I had "morning sickness" instead of 24 hour sickness. It is seriously awful. It's hard to do anything. Some days I just layed on the floor while Mel played with her toys. I felt so bad, but Mel does her own thing anyway. Just a couple of days ago the nausea let up. I feel alive again. Thank goodness. I know people deal with that their whole pregnancy and I seriously don't know how they do it. A month was a VERY long time. I think I have a couple of good months ahead of me, and then a whole different challenge of carrying two babies in my body.
Anyway, since I found out, I have had so many emotions. Overall I am thrilled. There are days I am just trying to wrap my head around this. I mean three kids under the age of two? Has that ever happened? And then I hear a million stories about the same senario. The thing that has helped the most is people who are happy for us and telling us good things. Because BELIEVE me I know it's going to be very hard. I am not fooling myself into thinking it will be easy. And I am preparing myself for that. But dwelling on how hard it is going to be has not helped. But getting excited about it and thinking of all the good things takes the stress off and reminds me that it's a blessing and my attitude about it will make all the difference. Because for one thing, they are inside of me and I can't change it, and I wouldn't if I could. I am sure most people think, wow I am so glad that's not me. And that's fine, I get that. But just be excited for us because we are!
People have been asking where they will all fit in this house. So, the office will be turned into Melanie's bedroom and Melanie's room upstairs will be where the babies will be. It's really fine. And we won't be here forever. And I am getting those babies on the same schedule whether they like it or not.
I am sure people are thinking, "What are they doing? They are in dental school, they have a one year old, ect..." But this is what we want. And we are ok with living on a tight budget, we have done it for 5 years now. We know it won't last forever and if it did we would still do it. Somehow it always works out financially and otherwise. (even if we take out more loans :)
As far as continuing to tutor goes, I hope after the babies come I can at least do it on Saturday mornings still. A little break and some extra cash is nice.
We find out what we are having on March 28th. Yes, it's already scheduled. I can't wait. Ah it's killing me. And I am going to a sale for mom's with multiples next month to get some good deals on some essentials.
I don't know if I answered all the questions, but if you have some just leave a comment and I will answer it.
So here we go, like I said we are due at the end of August but my doctor said they usually come at 36 weeks, so I am hoping I can make it to that. I feel so grateful for these two babies coming into our lives, and that Melanie will get some playmates. I know that Heavenly Father would not give them to me if I couldn't handle it, which gives me even more confidence, and knowing that this is exactly what he wants for me makes me feel so much better. I am reminding myself that the newborn stage won't last forever. And once I'm not sleep deprived I will function again. Life will always be busy, and that's what having kids is all about. I am sooo happy to have Drew as a husband. I seriously can't ever express how great he is. This past month he has picked up all my slack after coming home from a rough day at school, and is happy to do it. He is my rock. I am so glad to have such an involved husband. Whenever I get down about some things people say to me, he just says, "Who cares? We are excited!" Then it brings me back to our world and how we work. We are a good team, and tackle things together. And yes, he is ready to sleep a LOT less for a while. He loved getting up with Melanie. Way more than I did. He's kind of a different breed:)
I am saving up all the offers for help for when I REALLY need it. I have a hard time asking, but I know I will need it and I am glad that I have so many wonderful people here that are so willing to help in any way. I appreciate you all so much!